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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| on saturdays
I like having coffee with my toast.
and guava jelly.
the weather is usually pleasant -
cool
refreshing
at 9
&&the world feels clean.
my hair is likely to be damp from the shower
I take after waking up.
the flowery shampoo fragrance wafts
with the scent of black coffee
and the morning newspaper.
and I am content | | |
| i create a song [a story] in my mind
that chronicles life's journey
[heartrendingly gorgeous
and overflowing with extreme sensation]
just so i can hear you sing it to me.
your voice, smooth and rich,
expresses each instant, each
emotion, with a talent that cannot be
learned.
i want to hear you sing it to me
even if it's only in my mind.
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| the giver
The first time I read this book was when I was in the 6th grade. Despite the fact that the book was required reading, I remember myself, even then, taking delight in reading such an ingeniously written book. My teacher said, as the class concluded the book, "A lot of people don't realize that we're turning into this type of place - that we take a tylenol every time we have a headache so we don't have to deal with the pain, or we just do whatever we're told to do."
Imagine a world without colors or music, where laughter is shallow and words are meaningless, where love, instead of being the most beautiful, driving emotion, is reduced to absolutely nothing. All our senses are muted, and all are emotions, and even our most basic instincts are capped. The system in The Giver is perfected - and there are no mistakes because there are no choices. The goal of this system isn't happiness, it's unfeelingness. Happiness is coupled with sadness, and that would be unacceptable. The core of this world is so disgustingly hollow - where people merely exist as robots doing what they are assigned to do, unthinkingly, instead of living as humans, sampling the richness life has to offer.
I wonder the intensity of the loneliness Jonas felt when he began to receive memories and then the understanding that came with it. Though he could say he loved Asher and Fiona, knowing that they would never be able to return his fondness and affection, much less even fathom it, must have been excruciatingly lonely. Because the normal people of the Community never had the chance to realize what they didn't have, they didn't miss it, but Jonas who felt that life could be so much more, sought out "Elsewhere", knowing that he could die trying to get there. He knew staying in the Community was worse than death, unfeeling and worthless.
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| Bluebeard.
The Classic Fairy Tales' introduction of Bluebeard, the story of Bluebeard is proclaimed to be "the stuff of nightmares (pg 138)."
Generally, Bluebeard is perceived to be ugly and repulsive, and consequently has difficulty in wooing women. Additionally, when he successfully manages to find a bride willing to marry him, she disappears in a frightening fashion. As the story unfolds, the brides were placed into a pre-schemed situation to test their curiosity, and in turn, their fidelity. In most cases the women were compelled to do what they have been forbidden to do, and thus they condemned themselves to a grotesque death, like being hacked into pieces.
The story, viewed from various perspectives, psychoanalyzed numerous times, failed to examine the fact that Bluebeard was an unattractive man. The way one looks speaks volumes of his health and genetics. Therefore, in an era where perpetuating favorable genetics is integral, Bluebeard was undoubtedly shunned. However, in a time that equally valued, if not more so, wealth and luxury, Bluebeard was able to compensate his poor genetic line by buying favor and marriage for a moment.
A person who's shunned or not necessarily a part of society undeniably lives a harsh life - it would be exceedingly easy to become bitter. Moreover, though he buys marriage, he is unable to buy genuine love and affection that he so desperately yearns for, ultimately setting up a lose-lose situation for himself and his wife. In an almost self-righteous manner, he constructs a situation to test the loyalty and fidelity of his wives by telling them explicitly something they cannot do. If a wife fails, he kills her because she didn't listen to him - to his deprived self, he understands her curiosity and failure as a sign that she isn't worthy to be his wife. Whereas, if the girl succeeds, she has his devotion, because in his mind, she obeys and loves him.
While Bluebeard might be a lesson in fidelity and/or women's cunning, I think it emphasizes most heavily the importance of being a part of society - or just the lesson that outer appearance is much more important than people would like to admit. Although many married for the sake of convenience, the biochemical factors still dictate whether there will be any physical attraction to the other person. If there is none, no matter how much wealth or luxury is involved, there will still be repulsion, and from repulsion stems many problems.
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| Sitting in the car, sharing an ice cream, "sell yourself to me," is what I told you.
Excluding the "kimi no tame ni dekiru koto" list, your bragging skills were horrible and lacked persuasion.
What is it about you, I wonder, that perpetually captivates me, perpetually pulls me in.
From the beginning of the fall semester, I told you on several occasions that I had no intention of getting involved in a serious relationship. I didn't tell you, though, that I wasn't even worried about falling for someone.
As a curious person, I knew that I'm easily attracted to those who held even a glimmer of anything, but that glimmer would always fade away rapidly. After all, all that glitters isn't gold - it only takes a second, closer glance to distinguish authentic and precious from that which is merely an imitation or facade; after that distinction is made, that captivating shimmer became a sign of lacking authenticity.
Not that that person was "fake" or unappealing - he just lacked what I wanted, and therefore, it was impossible to sustain, or even start an authentic relationship.
It was only a game, flirting with you in chemistry lab.
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